Finding myself


It’s only taken 20 years but lately I’ve really ‘found’ myself and realised how far I’ve come. We shouldn’t feel arrogant for being proud of our achievements. ‘Loving ourselves’ is a rare quality to find in a person and when you meet someone who is truly happy and content in their life it’s inspiring, at the end of the day, isn’t that what everyone seeks? Just a bit of happiness?

What an intense start to a blog post, there is more to me than selfies and beauty reviews after all.

I have a history of anxiety am in general a stress head. Basically, your average girl. I used to let it run my life, it would stop me doing the simplest things and I became my own worst enemy very quickly. No matter how many doctors I saw or medications I took nothing has cured me like self-love.

Finding out who you are is all part of life and I honestly think we never stop changing, daily experiences, people we meet and the things we discover shape who we are. Hormones obviously change us a lot and those vital teenage years can be hell for so many people. Taking the contraceptive pill during this already stressful time really didn’t make the self-loathing any easier for me and after only a month being off hormones I feel like a new woman, how cliché…

Feeding your soul things that make you happy is so important, I cannot express how much analysis, trial and error and growing this takes but you will get there, I promise.

Realise your goals-

Around 3 months ago I took a good long, hard look at my life and realised I wasn’t where I wanted to be. In my head I’d have ideas of what I wanted from life; to travel, live naturally and effortlessly and be successful. I’d decided what would make me happy, now it meant taking actions to make sure that I reached that place that only existed in my mind. This is where most people fail, actions speak louder than words and if you believe something enough you can and will get it. Except for the whole mythical romance thing, I’m afraid you have to leave that on the pages of Twilight.

Embrace the change –

In focusing on myself I grew apart from the one thing in my life which I thought would never change; my relationship had to end. I chose to take a massive step for my own growth and leave my other half to his. You can read all about that here.

The less you care the happier you will be –

So I was single, hormone free and no longer had anything to be anxious about. Except for other people’s views of me, being carefree is near on impossible when you are constantly in fight or flight mode. What helped me surpass those feelings was surrounding myself with people that loved me for who I am, spending time with family and reconnecting with old friends filled the lonely hours with happiness and soon enough I was too busy smiling to worry.

Body image –

Fitness has really impacted my self-love and if body image is what’s getting you down then do something about it. I hate to deliver the harsh truth but working on yourself is the only thing that’s going to change your opinion of you, don’t rely on other people to tell you how to feel or look.

I personally enjoy working out, crazy right? Feeling energised and motivated is great for my soul and just getting in half an hour a day has made me more confident in myself which further reduced my anxiety. Fitness can be a great stress reliever, give it a go if you are feeling worked up. It will clear your head and set you up for a positive mind set. Yoga is also great for hormone and stress related craziness.

Body image is the main reason for insecurities to creep up on us, the whole pressure of ‘fitting in’ and looking good is ridiculous these days. Realising what makes you happy is what’s important. If you don’t want to wear makeup then please don’t. If you want to sit at home with a bag of cookies and skip gym class for a day, go ahead. Whatever puts a smile on that pretty little face is worth doing.

Health –

Health and fitness has changed me, I don’t get mood swings anymore because there are no processed foods, refined sugars or synthetic hormones in my system. The wholefoods and natural sugars I eat on a daily basis fuel my workouts and I wake up wanting to move my body. Sounds good right?

My natural transition to veganism has opened my eyes to real food and what my body was designed to consume, I’m thriving on plants and doing the planet a favour at the same time. I won’t do a vegan preach here but I can’t see myself going back to my old lifestyle. Nothing tastes as good as vegan feels. I feed my body what it wants and recently my cravings have involved a lot of mango! Enough said. Everyone loves a good mango.


Reaching my goals –

Through gaining confidence and finding myself I worked up the courage to embrace my newly found independence and booked flights to Thailand next year. I’ve been to Asia before and stayed in China for 3 weeks, the people there are so humble, healthy and inspiring. Thailand felt like the right destination for my first adventure alone and I couldn’t be more excited about soaking in the gorgeous scenery and beautiful culture. I will be going for just over 2 weeks and starting in Bangkok with an organised tour where I hope to meet like-minded people. We travel to Phuket before having a week free time to enjoy whatever adventure finds me.

I wish I could stay in Thailand for longer but we can’t forget about my final goal of being successful, my career is very important to me and I have to return to the office and reality at some point.


If you’ve stuck with me throughout this entire post, thank you. I hope I can inspire just one person out there, if you really put your mind to something you can achieve it. If your life isn’t where you want it to be make some changes, after all, we’re only here once.

Keep smiling, work hard and kick ass.

Little Lottie. xo

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